If your kid is a junior, you’re in a really unique moment.
You have something most families don’t realize is valuable until it’s gone: time to plan instead of react.
Right now, before applications take over, before campus tours create emotional attachments, before deadlines compress everything into panic mode, you have space to have calm, grounded conversations about what college will actually look like for your family.
Not just academically or socially, but financially.
Most families skip these conversations in junior year because it feels too early or too uncomfortable. Then they’re having them in senior year under pressure, with emotions running high and options already narrowing.
The families who navigate this process with the least stress and the most confidence? They’re the ones who talk about money early, when everyone can still think clearly.
These five conversations won’t solve everything, but they’ll give you a foundation that makes the next 18 months so much easier.
And you don’t have to have them all at once. Start with one. Then another. Build the clarity piece by piece.
Quick Answer: What Money Conversations Should Junior Parents Have?
If you’re short on time, here are the 5 essential conversations to have with your teen before they start filling out applications:
1. Four-year budget – What can we afford across all four years, including annual tuition increases of 3-5%?
2. Willing vs. able to pay – What amount doesn’t compromise our retirement or financial security?
3. Student debt limits – How much can our kid realistically repay based on expected starting salary?
4. Scholarship backup plan – What if merit aid is lower than expected?
5. Walk-away number – What’s the maximum we’ll pay, regardless of the school name?
The goal: Have these conversations now while everyone can think clearly, not April of their senior year when emotions are high and deadlines are tight.
Read on for how to start each conversation and what to say to your teen.
1. How Much Should Parents Budget for College Per Year?
Most families know college is a multi-year commitment.
But what they don’t always know is how to budget for it realistically across all four years (or maybe a few more).
Here’s what gets missed:
Tuition increases. Most schools raise tuition 3-5% every year. A $30,000 tuition bill freshman year becomes $32,000 sophomore year, then $34,000, then $36,000.
The costs beyond tuition. Families often focus on the tuition number and miss everything else: fees, room and board, books, travel home, health insurance, different living and eating arrangements as students move off campus.
Here’s the reality: those add-ons can double the tuition number. At some schools, room and board alone costs more than tuition.
So a school with $35,000 tuition might actually cost your family $70,000 per year when you include everything.
What to discuss:
- What’s our realistic budget for ALL FOUR YEARS, including annual increases?
- What are the full costs beyond tuition at the schools we’re considering?
- Are we accounting for changes in living situations (moving off campus, different meal plans)?
- What about books, travel, health insurance, and the other expenses that add up?
Why this matters:
A school that looks affordable freshman year can become unmanageable by junior year if you haven’t planned for the full picture.
Action step:
Download our College Budget Worksheet and map out a realistic four-year plan.
And here’s something that makes this easier: MyCAP shows you four-year cost projections, not just year one. We calculate annual tuition increases based on inflation so you can see what all four years will actually cost your family, with all the fees and expenses included.
If the four-year total feels uncomfortable, that’s valuable information to have NOW while you’re still building your college list.
2. What’s the Difference Between What You Can Afford vs. What You Should Pay for College?
This is the conversation most families skip.
And it’s one of the most important ones.
Here’s the difference:
- What you CAN afford = stretching, sacrificing, borrowing, making it work somehow
- What you’re WILLING to pay = the amount that doesn’t compromise your financial security or your family’s long-term wellbeing
Just because you can find a way to pay $50,000 per year doesn’t mean you should.
What to discuss:
- What number feels manageable without derailing our retirement, emergency fund, or ability to help with other things down the road?
- What sacrifices are we willing to make? What sacrifices are we NOT willing to make?
- Where’s the line between supporting our kid’s education and protecting our family’s financial health?
Why this matters:
Here’s the thing about college fit that social media and college marketing departments don’t want you to know: there isn’t one perfect school for any kid.
Your teenager may have built up an idea of a dream school in their mind. And I get it. The Instagram posts, the campus tour videos, the sweatshirts, the glossy brochures – colleges are REALLY good at making you fall in love with an idea.
But what you need to know is this: your kid has more than one option for a good fit. Multiple schools can work for them academically, socially, and personally.
And no fit is perfect.
They’re going to have bad days at any school they choose. They’re not going to like the cafeteria food sometimes. They’ll want to come home on random Tuesdays. They’ll have a professor they don’t connect with or a roommate situation that’s challenging.
That happens everywhere. At the $70,000 school and at the $25,000 school.
So when you’re deciding what you’re willing to pay, you’re not choosing between your kid’s happiness and your financial security. You’re choosing between options that can all work, and finding the one that works for everyone in your family, not just your teenager.
Action step:
Have this conversation with your partner or spouse first. Get on the same page about your ceiling. Write it down.
Then have it with your kid.
And here’s a tip that makes this easier: let the numbers speak for themselves.
3. How Much Student Loan Debt Should My Kid Take On?
Most 17-year-olds have no idea what student loan debt actually means in practice.
$40,000 in loans sounds abstract. $400 per month for ten years after graduation sounds real.
But before you even get to that conversation, here’s what you need to know about how student loans actually work:
Your student can only take out Federal Direct Student Loans in their own name.
These loans are capped each year – it’s designed to protect students from borrowing their way into a hole they can’t climb out of. Every student qualifies for these automatically as long as they submit the FAFSA. There’s no income requirement. No credit check. Eligibility is simply based on submitting your FAFSA.
But here’s the catch: Federal Direct Student Loans might not cover all the borrowing your family needs.
If there’s still a gap after federal student loans, any other education loan you take out won’t be solely in your student’s name. It will either be in a parent’s name (like Parent PLUS loans) or require a parent to co-sign for some private student loans.
What that means: You as the parent are taking on the debt if your kid isn’t able to pay it back. It’s your credit. Your responsibility.
The Federal Reserve reports that Americans currently hold $1.77 trillion in student loan debt, with the average borrower owing around $37,000. The average monthly student loan payment ranges from $200-$300, though this can be significantly higher for those with graduate degrees or private loans.
What to discuss:
- What does monthly loan repayment look like on different debt amounts?
- What’s a realistic starting salary in their intended field?
- How much of their income are they willing to dedicate to loan payments vs. rent, savings, building a life?
- If we need to borrow beyond federal student loans, are we as parents comfortable taking on that debt?
General guideline from financial experts:
Don’t borrow more than your expected first-year salary. If your kid is going into teaching (average starting salary around $45,000), borrowing $80,000 sets them up for stress they don’t need.
Why this matters:
Student loan debt doesn’t just delay big purchases. It affects everything: where they can afford to live, whether they can take a job they love that doesn’t pay well, when they can start saving for their own future, their stress levels in their 20s and 30s.
The Federal Reserve reports that Americans currently hold $1.77 trillion in student loan debt, with the average borrower owing around $37,000. The average student loan payment is $200-$300 per month. That might not sound like much until you’re also paying rent, car insurance, groceries, and trying to save for the future.
These aren’t hypotheticals. This is what daily life looks like when you’re managing debt.
Action step:
Use MyCAP together to see what different loan amounts actually mean.
In the “How to Pay the Bill” section, MyCAP shows you:
- Average starting salaries based on the major they’re considering at each specific school
- What monthly loan payments look like for 10-year and 25-year repayment plans
- How different debt amounts impact their financial reality after graduation
Run a few scenarios together. Show your kid what $30,000 in loans means versus $60,000 versus $100,000.
Then talk about what kind of lifestyle they want after graduation and whether those loan payments fit into that picture.
Here’s the thing about teenagers and money: your kid is building a vision of their future college experience in their mind right now. It’s exciting and full of possibility, and that’s wonderful. But they haven’t lived through the experience of having bills compete for the same paycheck yet. They haven’t had to decide whether they can afford both rent and groceries and a student loan payment in the same month. That’s not a failure on their part – it’s just where they are developmentally. They don’t have the reference point yet to fully picture what those financial choices will mean five or ten years from now.
When you sit down with them and show them the actual numbers in MyCAP, they can SEE what different debt amounts mean in monthly payments and understand how that limits their choices after graduation. You’re not crushing their dreams. You’re giving them information they need to make a choice they can live with long-term.
The numbers tell the story. You’re just helping them see it clearly.
4. What if My Kid Doesn’t Get Scholarships?
Hope is not a strategy.
But most families treat it like one.
What to discuss:
- Are we banking on merit scholarships? What if they don’t get as much as we’re hoping?
- Are we counting on outside scholarships? (Most are small and one-time. Learn more in our Private Scholarship Guide)
- What’s our backup plan if the financial aid packages aren’t what we expected?
Why this matters:
Merit aid is not guaranteed. Your kid might have a 4.0 and great test scores, but so do thousands of other applicants.
Here’s something important to know: many schools award automatic merit scholarships through their admissions office, and you’ll often find out about these BEFORE you get your full financial aid package. These are essentially tuition discounts – the school’s way of making their price more attractive to students they want to enroll.
Some schools will offer generous merit aid. Some won’t offer any. And the amounts can vary widely even for similar students.
If you’re building your entire budget around scholarships that might not materialize, you’re setting yourself up for a tough April when decision time comes.
Action step:
Use MyCAP to see realistic scholarship estimates for your student at each school on their list.
Add the schools your kid is interested in. MyCAP will show you:
- Which automatic merit scholarships your student qualifies for based on their GPA and test scores
- A complete list of all other scholarships each school offers (in case you want to see what else might be available)
- Your estimated net cost AFTER those scholarships
Our numbers are much more accurate than generic net price calculators because we’re constantly updating our data based on what schools are actually awarding to real students.
If the estimated net cost is already outside your budget BEFORE additional scholarships, you know that school might not be a realistic fit. Better to know that now than after your kid has fallen in love with it.
5. How Do I Set a Maximum College Budget (Walk-Away Number)?
This conversation creates a safety net for your family.
What to discuss:
- At what price point do we say no, no matter how much our kid loves the school?
- Are we willing to walk away from a “dream school” if the financial aid offer doesn’t work?
- How will we frame this boundary for our kid so they understand it’s about protecting them, not limiting them?
Why this matters:
Every family has a number where the cost becomes unsustainable. Where the debt would be too much. Where the sacrifice would compromise too many other things that matter.
If you don’t define that line NOW, you’ll end up making that decision in April under pressure, with your kid emotionally invested and deadlines looming.
Having a walk-away number isn’t about being negative. It’s about being clear. It gives you and your kid a framework for decision-making instead of hoping you’ll just “figure it out when the time comes.”
Action step:
Decide your walk-away number together as a family. Talk about what it means and why it matters.
Write it down. Keep it visible.
Because when emotions are running high and your kid has their heart set on a school that’s beyond that number, you’ll need that anchor to remind everyone why you set the boundary in the first place.
Understanding how financial aid is calculated can also help you set realistic expectations about what schools are likely to offer, so your walk-away number is based on reality, not guesses.
Why January Is the Right Time for These Conversations
You might be thinking: “Isn’t it too early? We don’t even know where they’re applying yet.”
That’s exactly why now is the right time.
These conversations work best BEFORE your kid falls in love with specific schools. Before you spend money on application fees and campus tours. Before emotional investment makes it harder to think practically.
By the time your kid is a senior and acceptance letters are arriving, the financial picture is already mostly set. You’re working with the income you reported last year. The schools are chosen. The emotional attachments are formed. You’re responding to offers instead of planning ahead.
But right now? Right now you have breathing room.
Junior parents who have these conversations in January build college lists based on reality. They apply to schools they can actually afford. They avoid the heartbreak of getting into a dream school and having to say no because the money doesn’t work.
This isn’t about limiting your kid’s options. It’s about making sure the options you’re considering are actually viable for your whole family.
What to Do Next
Have these five conversations before the end of January.
Yes, they might feel uncomfortable at first. Yes, your kid might push back. Yes, it might not be the fun, exciting part of college planning.
But these conversations create clarity. And clarity reduces stress.
When you know your numbers, when you’ve talked about boundaries, when you’ve run scenarios together, the rest of the process gets so much easier.
You’re not guessing. You’re not hoping. You’re making decisions based on information you already have.
Ready to get started?
Download our College Budget Worksheet to walk through these conversations step by step. It’s free, and it’ll help you map out a realistic financial plan before applications take over your life.
If you want more guidance, join our email list for weekly tips on how to shop smarter for college without the overwhelm.
And if you’re ready to see what schools will actually cost YOUR family (not just the sticker price), try MyCAP for free. It’s the tool that shows you your real costs before you apply so you can make decisions with your eyes open.
You’ve got this. And you’re doing it at exactly the right time.
About Cathy Portele: Mom of three and the person behind College Aid Pro’s social media. Cathy joined the College Aid Pro community as a panicked parent searching Facebook groups for answers about paying for college. Spoiler: She learned enough to help her oldest graduate debt-free. Now she’s doing it again with her high school senior (round two hits different), and she’s here to help you avoid the mistakes she made the first time. Your kid will end up exactly where they’re supposed to be. Promise. Follow along on Instagram or Facebook for more real talk about college costs.
About College Aid Pro: We help families shop smarter for college by teaching them how the financial aid system actually works before they apply, commit emotionally, or take on debt they can’t undo. Learn more about how we help families.
